i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
tequila makes me forget i have legs
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
