Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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