i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Randomize
