Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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