So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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