Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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