You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
