I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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