K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Say something about gay babies.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
