In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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