i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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