Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
