How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
