apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
