Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
