:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
