its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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