its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
