you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
