so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
