I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
