i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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