was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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