Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize