Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
