so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
