On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
