shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
