I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize