I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
