with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
are you so shy because you have an std?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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