my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
