left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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