he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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