just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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