i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
