I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
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