This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
