worst night to have a conscience
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize