Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
