she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
