just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I think your dad took our porno
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
