my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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