READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
