he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
