Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
