just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
