they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
