My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
