Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
