Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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