She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
