why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
