Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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