there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
