it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
