im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
