Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
