Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
