Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize