it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize