The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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