I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I hope mine doesn't look like that
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
