In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
