im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Randomize
