He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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