Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
