singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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