Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
