I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
